Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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