i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
