How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
