am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
