He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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