I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
