apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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