Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
