Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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