i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
