Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
