we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
