What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
