Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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