if you like me you must not know who I am
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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