You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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