All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Last time i carry you out of a forest
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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