His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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