Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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