I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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