i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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