Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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