I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
