she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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