Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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