A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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