Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
