I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
