Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
