nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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