If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
