She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
