Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
