All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
why didn't you poke me back
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
