Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
