I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
