There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
