How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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