Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
