I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
