you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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