gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
