You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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