Where are you?
In a non slutty way
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
