apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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