i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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