...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
