quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
