Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
where are you?
Hypothermia
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm like, not good at living.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize