I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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