he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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