im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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