once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
is that a dick in a sweater?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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