My sheets look like a crime scene.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
