and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
