Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
