they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think your dad took our porno
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize