I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
