they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
