Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize