coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
