Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
