? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
