Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
