wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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