I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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