Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
