the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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