If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
