what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
